Interestingly, from an
identity standpoint, what does it mean to have a disability? Pamela Anderson has more prosthetic in her
body than I do—nobody calls her disabled!
These questions came from the mouth of one of my new
favorite people—Aimee Mullins. Aimee was
born without either of her fibula bones, so she had both legs amputated below
the knee at age one to give her the greatest amount of mobility. Since then, she’s gone on to become a
collegiate athlete, Para Olympian, and fashion model. What she has to say about the collision of
beauty and disability is so thought provoking that I would like to share it
with you. Please take 10 minutes to
watch this video and see how Aimee is redefining our concept of beauty.
Over the course of the summer, I want to explore the beauty
that is to be revealed within the experience of disability and human
limitation. I would love for you to join
this conversation! “Attend” this event on Facebook, follow me on Twitter
@Bibliophile84, or follow The Walk via e-mail.
“I hate the phrase
‘cerebral palsy.’” I began to weep
openly in front of my counselor. I
brought my hand up to my face covering my mouth to muffle the cry that I could
feel rising in my throat. My eyes started to overflow with tears, spilling down,
wetting my cheeks. “I can’t even say
the words.”
Surpassed only by the fear of
snakes, public speaking still ranks number two on the list of America’s top
fears according
to a recent Gallup poll. I too, hope
that I never come face to face with a reticulated python, but give me
microphone and an audience of any size and I’d be happy to articulate my
thoughts on any subject!
Except CP.
During most of my formative
years, I felt a strong sense of shame surrounding the fact that I had an
incurable, unchanging, physical and very public disability. Some part of me thought that if I didn’t ever
talk about it, then maybe it wouldn’t exist.
After working through my issues with a counselor and accepting some
invitations to speak, I am finding my voice and growing in my willingness to
share my experiences with others.
Last month, I was asked by a
colleague to Skype with two classes of 5th graders who had recently
read the book Out Of My Mind by Sharon Draper. The book’s main character, Melody, is an
11-year-old with severe CP who is unable to speak due to her disability. My colleague wanted to give her students an
opportunity to meet someone who shared the same condition as the book’s main
character yet had a completely different range of functionality.
So, for a half hour, students
asked me questions about what life was like with CP. What
does it feel like? What has been the hardest part of your life? What did you
like to do as a fifth grader? Their
questions were honest, asked with concern, and demonstrated an interest and
growing understanding of what it must be like to live with CP.
This experience inspired me. I always find it deeply personal to talk
about living with CP and the pain I have experienced. Every time I speak, I feel like I am being
asked to give part of myself away. However,
it seems to me that a vulnerable speaker who is willing to share in front of a
receptive audience is what ultimately leads to understanding. It helps to bridge the
gap, helping others to gain insight into an otherwise narrowly shared
experience.
This is why I have decided to
launch a speaking page on my blog. I
welcome the opportunity to share stories, experiences, and insights with
Christian groups and to students in schools.
Check it out for more information: http://jwalkinguphill.blogspot.com/p/speaking.html or
contact me: jenniferchristinehill@gmail.com.
Tonight I thought I would share an evening devotion with you, compliments of Sara Groves. Enjoy and be encouraged that God withholds no good thing from us! Have a wonderful evening and a productive week!
A verse: For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Psalm 84:11
A story:
Sara Groves - "Open My Hands" Story Behind The Song
Lately, my pain has transformed from a dull ache to at times
a stabbing pinch and travels down my leg.MRI scans revealed that I have Spondylolisthesis and Degenerative Disc Disease.Medical terminology aside, I’ve been experiencing a little more pain
than normal.
Philip Yancey, in his book Where is God When it Hurts says the
following, “Suffering produces something.It has value.It changes us.”
Pain, I am learning,
is a gift. Marcel Proust is quoted as
saying, “Illness is the doctor to whom we
pay the most heed: to kindness, to knowledge we make promises only: pain we
obey.” Not something to be ignored,
pain can be the compass that ultimately points us in the direction of help and
healing.
Although my acute
pain has nearly subsided as April came to a close, there was a time last month
where simply walking became painful.It
was especially during these times that I was reminded that the Lord will
sustain me and He is committed to walking with me every step of the way.Britt Nicole’s new song All This Time has been particularly meaningful to me this month, so
I am including it at the end of this entry.
Pain has helped me
gain perspective, causing me to become more grateful for many things:
over-the-counter pain killers, access to health care, health insurance,
compassionate physicians who have devoted their professional careers to caring
for the back, and having a physical therapy clinic next to my work.
It’s when I lay in
bed at night though, my knees propped between a pillow, situating my back as I
prepare to sleep that it seems I can hear my body aching for a new being.I am reminded that this is not my home.Ultimately, one day I will let go of the hand
of pain and the two of us will part ways…forever.“He
will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning
or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."(Revelation 21:4).
What has suffering
produced in your life?How have you
responded to your pain?
Recommended Reading:
The Gift of Pain: Why
We Hurt and What We Can Do About It by Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey
