“You’re no stranger to
pain.” I looked at him, taking in his
observation. Like it or not, he was
right. Pain and I have become well acquainted.
If I were honest with myself, I would admit that I have
experienced inconsistent low-level back pain for about a decade. It’s usually a dull ache that comes and
goes. “It’s probably just from your CP,”
I was told once by a physical therapist.
Research confirms this suspicion.
One
study compared adults with CP to those without and found that nearly one-third of the adults with cerebral
palsy had chronic pain, vs. 15% in the general population. Back pain was the most common in both groups.
Lately, my pain has transformed from a dull ache to at times
a stabbing pinch and travels down my leg.
MRI scans revealed that I have Spondylolisthesis and Degenerative Disc Disease.
Medical terminology aside, I’ve been experiencing a little more pain
than normal.
Philip Yancey, in his book Where is God When it Hurts says the
following, “Suffering produces something. It has value.
It changes us.”
Pain, I am learning,
is a gift. Marcel Proust is quoted as
saying, “Illness is the doctor to whom we
pay the most heed: to kindness, to knowledge we make promises only: pain we
obey.” Not something to be ignored,
pain can be the compass that ultimately points us in the direction of help and
healing.
Although my acute
pain has nearly subsided as April came to a close, there was a time last month
where simply walking became painful. It
was especially during these times that I was reminded that the Lord will
sustain me and He is committed to walking with me every step of the way. Britt Nicole’s new song All This Time has been particularly meaningful to me this month, so
I am including it at the end of this entry.
Pain has helped me
gain perspective, causing me to become more grateful for many things:
over-the-counter pain killers, access to health care, health insurance,
compassionate physicians who have devoted their professional careers to caring
for the back, and having a physical therapy clinic next to my work.
It’s when I lay in
bed at night though, my knees propped between a pillow, situating my back as I
prepare to sleep that it seems I can hear my body aching for a new being. I am reminded that this is not my home. Ultimately, one day I will let go of the hand
of pain and the two of us will part ways…forever. “He
will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning
or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." (Revelation 21:4).
What has suffering
produced in your life? How have you
responded to your pain?
Recommended Reading:
The Gift of Pain: Why
We Hurt and What We Can Do About It by Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey
Where is God When it
Hurts? Philip Yancey
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